Avoiding blogging….for reasons…

I have so many things I want to post about, so many images in backlog, draft posts and ideas.  However, I just don’t want to write, because basically…I am sort of torn mentally at the moment and I really have no idea what to do.

I honestly don’t know if I wrote about any of the guild drama that happened with the release of Highmaul…I think I pretty much just avoided it as I had little knowledge of what was being said behind the scenes.  I do know though, our GL, Navi gave a great speech about how we could shove off if we didn’t like the direction of the guild and that we were not a Mythic raiding guild as our main focus etc etc.  It was a fantastic speech.

Of course, what I took away from that was that at some point we may dab our toes into Mythic, but that wasn’t going to be a focus.  But what has ended up happening is that the “Sunday casual” raid is now the only time they do normal mode, Wednesday they clear out heroic and Thursday they do Mythic. Mondays have been dedicated to clearing the last boss in heroic which they got down last week!!  WOOT!  I missed it due to the public holiday :(

I didn’t sign up to raid 4 nights a week – that is so far from casual in my eyes, so I generally don’t go to the Sunday raid as it was supposed to be for the casuals and is mainly just all the exact same people (on alts now). I also never really wanted to raid Mythic. When we were considering guilds to settle into, we specifically decided to stay because they were not mythic focused.  I had hoped with the little speech we would continue to focus on normal/heroic for a little while, but it seemed to go the other way.

I currently try to get myself dropped when it comes to Thursday nights because I do not have the gear for Mythic raiding.  I am still about 10+ ilevels behind most of the other people in the guild and whilst they are trying to maintain an aura of “it doesn’t matter” I refuse to put myself in the position when it comes to Mythic.  You cannot just take whomever and expect to get the content.  I cannot do the same DPS as others at the moment, and whilst I can stay out of the crap in the other modes, my one night on Mythic Kargath proved to me how much I dislike Mythic. I don’t find being overwhelmed with specific attacks/moves/mobs etc fun anymore…or challenging, I find it damn annoying to be honest.

I know my skill level and I know what I am capable of – mythic is not it.  Maybe 5 years ago, I could, when I had all the time in the world to spend in game bettering my gear and play style, but now? I just don’t have the mindset, tolerance or elitism for it.  I have been feeling a little depressed about the entire WoW thing in all honesty.  I am not sure if the players in the guild are that much better now or the content is easier than previously – I honestly don’t know – but the guild has cleared normal and heroic while there is nothing else available and that is simply awesome!!  I couldn’t be more proud. Can’t we just stay doing that content for a little while?

Lominari and I got to 100 and tried to get involved in guild life and offer runs and group things and most of the time we ended up going with just the two of us – no it didn’t happen all the time and we have had some fantastic runs with guildies, but when 4 out of 5 runs you are going alone, I started wondering why I was even bothering to play.

This is an MMO – the entire point is to be playing with other people – yet..it is the hardest thing to make happen. Why should I play when I can save my money and play a co-op with Lominari for free?  This feeling has made it harder and harder to find time to be online. There have been a few times when I have been online for a few hours, and spent most of that time in my garrison or doing my own thing (or levelling an alt) and see very little talk of things happening in guild chat. It is like most people just stay in their garrisons and don’t want to do anything or organise everything back channel.  It doesn’t help that my play time is not generally the same as everyone else’s nor that there really isn’t a lot of stuff to do as a group –  there is no point to running heroics anymore, you only get blues and not much else of value from them, i am never around or have never seen guild chat asking for challenge modes, and rep farming is pretty much a solo thing – which no one wants to do when I have asked.

 

I am sure this is just me feeling meh at the moment, but when you WANT to spend time in game playing with other people but find yourself asking constantly in guild chat with no responses at all, it is pretty disheartening. So, I have been spending less and less time in game simply by virtue of the fact that I am flat out bored playing an MMO as single player except for raid nights. I am sure everyone has times when they feel meh about it otherwise we wouldn’t have subscription numbers that change so much, I just wish I saw the point in playing an MMO.

All too depressing this post is, especially after my site got hacked and I wasn’t even sure I was going to get this site back for a while :)  It pushed me to get some posts happening!!

Heroic BoT…wow (and other (drama) stuff)

The plan we have in mind is to kill Sinestra before MoP drops.  An easy enough thing to say on paper…blog…you know what I mean, not so easy in action.

Last night we went into DS to kill DW as we missed him last week, can i say butt kicked.  I thought it would take me longer to get pugs and blah blah.  Anyway, we were done in about 20 minutes.

Let’s take a few moment to talk about the drama of the night though 🙂

Continue reading “Heroic BoT…wow (and other (drama) stuff)”

Bad Guild Juju and Looking for Guild.

I have just found out, that apparently – another mutiny is occurring in my alliance guild with different people this time – apparently the good players wanting to get rid of the bad players, and are asking for the GL to stand down so they can shake up the raid team.

I am just amazed at the amount of bad juju in this guild.  I must have cursed it or something when I left…I don’t remember doing any curses, but then my mage is very powerful and she is out of control sometimes….

Continue reading “Bad Guild Juju and Looking for Guild.”

Are you a team player or not?

The title question is something every person has to answer at some point in their WoW raiding lives.

Are you a team player or not?

I am sure the answer would be different for every person, and their perception of the question and how to answer it would be based on their own life experiences.

**Warning – Strong violence, frequent bad language and adult themes**

Continue reading “Are you a team player or not?”

Done and dusted

Onto the excitement, my Shammy got to 83 yesterday 🙂 I am so happy for her. I am playing enhancement and enjoying it more than I thought I would to be honest!

I am lucky to have a very gifted enh shammy that I married and he was giving me some great tips 🙂 I have never been a fan of melee, but shammies seem to handle it better…or maybe I am not clueless….no idea 🙂

We should have hit 85 sometime this week with these current toons, so that is a little exciting 🙂 That will make my shammy toon number 5 at max cap, my priest will be hot on her heels!

Onto the guild drama though!
Continue reading “Done and dusted”

Hard to move on…

Last night, a person came back into the game that I promised myself I would never ever be in the same guild as again.

There had been mention on the guild forums of a possible return and I had already started dreading the day he would log back on.  He was a quarter of a group that I despise more than words can readily express.

I have already notified my GM that I will not be staying in the guild as long as he is active, but I will continue raiding with them if need be, but I cannot stay there with this person and everyone treating him as a long lost friend when he and the others destroyed me and my love for my guild and WoW.

I have not yet removed my toons from the guild as I wanted to just have a day to think it over, and although I am not angry or upset about it anymore, I made a promise to myself and I will stick with it because I don’t need to be reminded every time I log into the game of what happened back then.

At the end of the month when Blizzard takes my 15 bucks I will be happier knowing I am not putting up with shite just because I feel I need to.

Last night I was considering just seeing how active he was before leaving, but in the end that feels like I am just letting it go and that I don’t have an issue with it – which isn’t the case.  My grudges last a lifetime.

So, I need to start the hunt for a new guild….

Loot drama and not enough people again

I know – everyone is saying it – we are apparently getting to the end of an expansion…I say apparently as I don’t have a release date for MoP yet – do you??!@?!  And if it is released in November – is that close?  Nope, is that end worthy?!!?  I don’t think so.

But!!

Why is it so hard for 10 people to be online at the same time so we can raid?!

This post is a little ranty – feel free to skip over it 🙂

Continue reading “Loot drama and not enough people again”

Was it good for you?

Attendance boss struck tonight again, so we went and did BH and then attempted FL.  I say attempted because we wiped on trash multiple times and we couldn’t get Shannax down.

We were 9 manning him and getting to about 1% by shear dumb luck as everyone was dead by the 10% mark really.  We had a mix of alts and mains, however the alts are just as well geared as mains thanks to obsessed guildies with too much time on their hands and LFR.  We were also 2 healing with a pally and a shammy.

I am so frustrated that we cannot even do FL even being over geared as we are we should be able to get in there and not have too much trouble…shouldn’t we??

I am contemplating trying to get my mage into another guild for progression and leaving my boomy with my guild to raid with them as well.  Finding a progression guild that raids on friday night/saturday morning may be a struggle though…I could maybe do a wednesday morning raid as well, which means i could look at US guilds I suppose and not just oceanics…

I am frustrated because I do want to see content, I would like to be running with people who can play and don’t blame class imbalance as to why they can’t do better.  We are not talking about top end players here so the difference between what can be achieved at our level is not the factor…..I am frustrated with constant afk’s, late starts, and general inability to get in or out of the fires….

GAhHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*end minor rant*

Precious Beth

I may have pissed off a guildie the night before last whilst we were raiding…He hasn’t spoken to me in 2 days and does not respond to my whispers….

Last night, I managed to get sat out of the raid so I didn’t have to worry about it, but it just slightly annoys me that because I offered help – he got snarky and even after I apologized for any offence caused he still decided to shun me.

The issue with a text based conversation I guess –  sarcasm, humour, affection are not conveyed correctly, if at all.  This has annoyed me more than I would like to admit, as I really found him a nice person to chat to and I was not really seeing the precious side of him that everyone warned me of.

Continue reading “Precious Beth”

Loot whore

Yup, tonight brought out the nasty cat in me and I have to admit I feel slightly ashamed.

After being back for one month now, hubby and I have done heaps of work on getting our toons geared up. Dailies, heroic, Z heroics, raiding, reputation etc – everything.  We are considered  casual raiders, so in theory are not required to raid all the time, however there have been very few raids we have missed since getting our gear score up high enough to be raiding.

My husband has managed to get about 5 pieces out of raids so far..both for main and offspec – he has been lucky.  I have not seen any gear that I dod not work for – excluding the two pieces of pvp gear from that dog thing…which since i was th eonly mage in the run were essentially handed to me….but I am wearing the gloves because they were a massive jump on the blues I originally had.

So tonight when a tier piece dropped for mage shoulders which would replace my blue shoulders I was sooo excited that i squealed over voice comms and then asked if i could need.  Since everyone in the guild has all epics in every slot and is pretty well doing ok gear wise I was a litle miffed when the DK rolled need as well and won them.  I made a snarky comment on voice comms and then sat there and fumed that he would even contemplate rolling for a tier piece when he was wearing 359 piece in that slot.

He then made some comment about how it was a sidegrade for him but it would be useful for something and i then linked my blues in chat and said, yeah I hope the sidegrade is worth it! I messaged the GL(who is also the raid leader), and he whispered me back  a sad face….obviously not really sure what I expected him to do, but that sort of annoyed me as well that sharing of gear in the guild is not an issue.

He then decided to give me the token after his father told him to consider that the upgrade would be more beneficial to me.  I was very appreciative of it, but what annoys me is that it just shouldn’t have even happened.  I am not a loot whore, and I spent 2 years as a GM not taking any loot over others because it just didn’t matter to me, and in all honesty I was not expecting my reaction to the situation. Would it not be a polite thing to see what your competition is wearing before rolling need on an item – roll greed – go for it….but need?  when you are fully aware it is a side grade for you anyway?

I am slightly ashamed with myself and annoyed that I got miffed over a piece of gear…such a childish thing to do.  It is just one of those reminders that I am not a GL anymore, I don’t control loot rules, guild rules or the ability to make people use some courtesy in regards to sharing gear around to benefit the guild as a whole.

I fel very ashamed of myself tonight and only because I should have shut the hell up and just let him have the piece.

Time to let it go

Yup, this will be my last post about stepping down, it has been 2 days and so far only my closest friends have said anything, a pool of people smaller in numbers than one hand of fingers.

Yes I am being very self centered, and perhaps idealistic, in hoping that my guild mates would say something, anything to show their support or dissent at the decision.

This leads me to be torn as to the motives behind the lack of chatter, and as I have been reminded so vehemently the last couple of days “ASS / U / ME” is the mother of all cock ups. So I am not even going to go into my theories suffice it to say I am feeling lost in the guild as though I should not be there.

I don’t know where I stand with anyone in the guild now and I think that scares me more than anything else. The last three years I have spent knowing my place and knowing where I fit in, now I am not sure if I am even supposed to be stay in the guild after the way it all went down?

Do guild leaders stay in the guild they step down from if they do it for negative reasons and not just getting too busy in real life reasons? Have others felt this sense of dismemberment from the people?

I am too scared to message people, as I don’t know who are the ones who dislike me, I have had no one actually talk to me since Sunday, and so I am not sure what to do, i didn’t really speak on vents last night or in raid very much as I had no idea what to say. I am second guessing everything about me even being there, do people even give a crap if I am there or not? Would they prefer I wasn’t? Do they have me on mute on vents – which would explain why people sometimes never answer me?

Yeah, defiantely time to let it go. I won’t be posting about this again as there is now nothing to say, i will see how things go once everything has settled down. Maybe I am just being ultra paranoid – or maybe I am right on the money, either way a few weeks from now I will have a better idea…I hope.

Extrapolation

So to expand on my previous post, I have stepped down as guild leader for my guild and requested I be treated as a raiding member of the guild.

I had believed, stupidly, it would seem that the guild was doing really well, that we were all getting along and were being mates. How wrong was I?

If people want to bitch about their guild leader, it is perhaps time you find another guild, or god forbid you talk to them about your concerns.

I cannot believe that people I considered friends have been backstabbing but that is the story, so I will not continue to put myself in the position to cop a flogging.

I am so hurt that I have found out, perhaps remaining oblivious would be better, I have not yet decided.

My future with the guild is undecided as I am currently far too clouded by betrayal and hurt to think all that cleat, so before doing anything too rash I will just sit back, raid and not do anything that will jeopardize my raiding position in the guild. After all I have the same shot at being booted now 🙂

I spent most of yesterday crying about this entire thing so I am pretty sure stepping down is the best thing I could have done, I now just have to work out who my friends actually are and how much crap was spun to the other officers and therefore to me….Chinese fucking whispers like fucking 2 year old little tards…..

Too depressed at the moment, may not be posting for a while….