The court of horrors

Horror for them of course, and not us. We smashed them in their Naga faces. The guild actually killed Queen’s court a few weeks ago, but I was not there for it. So last week when we went in it was my first kill.

The fight wasn’t any more difficult than normal, in my opinion so it made it a relatively easy attempt.

6/8 H

We have 2 bosses to go. 2 more to get through in heroic. We are so close to clearing it. I wasn’t prepared for Za’qul to be as hard as he was though. We spent the rest of the night having our arses handed to us. What I don’t really get though is why? The thing that was causing us the most issue was the tentacles, which happen in normal as well. The fight isn’t really any different in heroic, but for some reason we were all losing our minds.

The best we got him to was 41% I think, it is the one I have a picture of at any rate.

Honestly though, we were having weird latency at home that night (no idea why) and it was causing us issues with the mechanics, it wouldn’t have been helping for sure. We are planning on extending to spend the next raid night working on him and Queen Nelly assured us that Queen Asz is much easier than this fight. Something to look forward to at any rate. I think we almost had this one though, we were improving towards the end of the night, but there is just so much to look for and we were all having issues tunnelling and just not paying attention to the timers.

We will get him Wednesday though. I wish I could get my DPS up as well. I keep missing my rotation and just messing it up. I feel like a pretty fail druid to be honest because I should be able to pull 30k DPS and I am barely scraping 20k. Part of the issue with being DPS is when you can’t get the numbers you are simply letting the team down.

#Blaugust2019 – The aftermath

I saw a decent jump in views during my posting bloodbath for Blaugust.

In the last 30 days the Blaugust posts have been the main target which is great πŸ™‚ But I noticed some of the posts only had a couple of views in total for the last 30 days.

Having a couple of days away to not be focused on the need to post, I have realised I don’t want to do this again. It was high pressure for me and whilst I didn’t really struggle for posts too much, I just felt it stretched my time too thin. Maybe when time rocks around next year I will feel differently after being back to a regular scheduLE of two posts a week I will feel better about it.

I am pretty proud of all the people who joined in and managed to get through the month, even if you only posted once!

It was nice to see an increase in stats though πŸ™‚ I did feel good when they went up. Thanks for reading and being here.

#Blaugust2019 – OMG I DID IT!

All 31 days of August had a post. I cannot believe it.

I have absolutely no idea how I managed to do it honestly. It get very hard towards the last week – I was just running out of ideas. There were plenty of writing prompts but I had written about them previously (or recently) so I didn’t want to rehash things too many times for you, my lovely readers.

What have I learnt:

  • Blogging daily is damn hard – kudos to you guys who do it. You are made of stronger stuff than me.
  • Blogging about only Azeroth makes for a limiting experience as I didn’t want to bombard you guys with posts about other topics and randomness too much. It couldn’t be helped in the end, I would have failed Blaugust and I know none of you would have wanted that!
  • My stats look amazing for the month! Unlikely it will continue upward growth when I go back to bi-weekly posts but a girl can dream.
  • There are so many cool bloggers out there who are just as geeky and funny as I think I am and well worth reading through their content when you have time. Just follow the #blaugust2019 tag and check a few out who suit your style, some are not even WoW related – can you believe it!!

If the event runs again next year, I might consider signing up again, but I will be prepared next time and try and have some posts already lined up ready to go πŸ™‚ It was definitely an experience and I am proud I can say I had posts for everyday, scheduled and completed usually the week prior. Part of the ease of writing 2 posts a week is the ability to stretch content out without much effort to last a couple of months, things that happen can be posted about 2-3 weeks later πŸ™‚ That content buffer is gone when you post daily.

I have you guys have enjoyed reading through my content dumps and I hope some of them maybe gave you a laugh or a smile. If you end up watching, listening, buying any of the creator suggestions I would love to know and please comment, engage and chat with me. I adore talking to people, and don’t forget you can add me on battlenet via Dragonray#1445 πŸ™‚

#Blaugust2019 – Classic Lies

So I know, I know!! I posted less than a few days ago saying I wasn’t going to jump into Classic again, but then Apophis mentioned some people in our first original guild wanted to get the band back together and I got all giddy and Classic crazed.

Image result for get the band back together
On a mission from Warcraft

I was working from home due to our need of a repairman and before I started work I decided to jump in and just see how far I could get in the 1.5 hours I had spare. The answer was level 7. I have made it through the starting aea of Northshire Abbey and am working in Goldshire. I ran through to Stormwind just before I logged off with the intention of finding some profession trainers to learn skinning/mining and hopefully sell my materials.

Mobs have resisted more times than I can count and I have only died twice so far and they were both in a kobold filled mine with crazy respawn for my lack of mana. You stay in combat for a really long time when something is chasing you and it just makes it that little bit harder.

So here is my mage, she is very close to what my original toon looked like, I didn’t go with my original name of Saradouglass because that was a terrible mistake I would never want to repeat and instead went with Dragonray (I couldn’t reserve it hordeside).

I have learnt the spells for food and water (thank god!!!) and I am really, really, realllllllly enjoying having both fire and frost spells. You frostbolt to slow then down, then burn them with the fireballs, then you drink and eat for 60 seconds πŸ™‚ I really do miss being able to use any class of spell though. It feels more DnD like to me now.

Am I likely to keep playing – probably not, but who the heck knows? Levelling is easy at this point, you gain levels to quickly, but they get so much harder as you get higher and I am just not sure I have the mental energy to do it again. We shall see how far I get πŸ™‚

#Blaugust2019 – Cliff Empire

A few posts back, I spoke about games I was interested in playing after doing a super brief search and probably the one I am most keen on is called “Cliff Empire”. It is available on steam for about $17 or so and I think I am gong to download it this weekend and give it a solid crack.

Aside from Ragnarok being my first ever real game that I remember playing on a PC when I was in my early teens, I didn’t really get back into computers after moving out of home, until I was about 19 when I found and fell in love Pharaoh.

I couldn’t tell you the hours I sunk into this game. It would be a huge number. This got me hooked on various other city building games like Zeus and Caesar, even early simcity/zoo tycoon/sim tower/space colony/majesty/theme park tycoon etc. I loved anything which had a city building aspect. Years later though the games changed and were simply not as enjoyable, they had a different game play which I didn’t like or gel with.

However, one day we were watching a youtube video about city building games coming out soon and two caught my eye. Foundation (which I downloaded and haven’t played enough of) and Cliff Empire. Foundation has people AI so they build houses and roads wherever they want in their designated land, this makes it a far more interesting build than working out roads and patchways.

Cliff empire is based on the idea the earth is screwed and we can now only build on cliff tops, you have limited space and resources so you have to be very conscious of how you connect. This sounds challenging and completely different to the usual city building games. Te reviews on steam seem to be overall positive for a relatively new game.

It just looks so gorgeous, let’s be honest, I also want to play with the giant stargate πŸ™‚ The night time Looks stunning as well!!

I didn’t even make it to the end of writing this post before setting my computer to download it!! I am excited to see how hard it is and if I can master it like so many of the other city building games. This is one I am genuinely excited about; getting back into the city building enjoyment of my early years. I will let you know how it goes!!

*** This post was inspired by a comment Naithin made on twitter in response to me needing one more topic to write about to complete #Blaugust2019. It is fitting it should be about another game I am excited about playing. So thank you – for getting me there! Let’s just hope I don’t get disqualified for anything!!

Let me know if you are a city builder tycoon at heart!!

#Blaugust2019- Warcraft Tattoos

Can you tell I am scraping for topic ideas now…OMG this is so darn hard. A post every day! But whilst I was trolling twitter for other Blaugust writers to steal writing prompts from, I found this and had to stop and appreciate the awesomeness.

I have, since I was about 16, always wanted a tattoo. I was homeless and had no money one day when I was 18, when I walked into a tattoo parlour just for something to do and found the most adorable little dragon tattoo and he was curled up and his tail had been on fire and was blown out. It was the most adorable thing. I said to myself if I ever saw that specific tattoo again when I had money it would be my first one. Many many many years later, I still don’t have a tattoo and I still want one πŸ™‚

I guess I just always worried the pain would be more than I could handle and so I have just never really investigated it. But I would like nothing more than having so many tattoos of the things I love and adore on in places on my body which I could always look at.

Here are some of my all time favourite tattoos though:

This is one of my all time favourites!!

Making this post has made me want one even more πŸ™‚ I was most recently thinking about it at the beginning of the year when the tattoo artist I really wanted had some spots available. But then as usual I chickened out and decided against it. Smel Wink Art is definitely worth checking out, she does amazing watercolours and ever since I saw her work years ago I knew I wanted something by her. I love how the animals have random colours behind and how wonderful she makes them look. Just really stunning work.

Maybe one day – before I am too old – I will get one πŸ™‚

#Blaugust2019 – Classic

I won’t be playing Classic, in fact I haven’t even installed it. I played on the beta weekend a few months ago and whilst I was all nostalgic for the game, it was enough of a taste to remind of why I don’t need to go back there.

This tweet reinforced that in my mind.

I adored Classic, I have so many memories of great fun and wonderful people. I had no idea that 15 years later WoW would still be affecting my life the way it has (and continues to). I made friends in my first ever guild which I still have today, which has given me more friends; I work with one of them and two are living with us at the moment. So it changed my life in so many positive ways. I always believed friends you made online were friends in the real sense and for me it is certainly true.

However, I levelled a mage to level 60 back in the day. I remember the constant balance between death and death. The amount of running prior to getting your mount at level 40, I remember the lack of quest data on the maps, the standing around towns looking for groups for hours. I remember a lot of the negative things which are only now negative because the game advanced and developed beyond those bad things. Does it still have issues – yeah, but the playability of the game is 200% better than Classic.

I remember all the good things as well and the sense of wonder at going to Molten Core for the first time, after one hell of an attunement quest. I still have my Sceptre of Celebras and Mallet of Zul’Farrak, and my first ever Epic item Elemental Mage Staff; they live in my bank as reminders. I also have a lot of the MC/BWL gear I received in my vault, even after the wardrobe function. It might just be a bunch of pixels, but they meant a lot to me. I look fondly at raiding with 40 people – all wanting to see the boss die, but spending most of Sunday getting through one raid zone was a little over the top πŸ™‚

I fear for anyone new to the game who wants to relive the magic of Classic with the current player-base. Just look at the hate-filled discussion about a LFG addon created for Classic; it has been unbelievable to watch. There is a much higher percentage of dickheads in the game now who feel they need to prove something to random internet strangers and I don’t think it is going to be a great experience for anyone . I have my fingers so tightly crossed I am losing circulation because I want to be wrong, I hope with everything I am, people are nice to each other and remember this is a game that has brought a lot of people together.

If enough of my friends decide they are playing Classic and start a guild, I might decide to dip my toes in, but I really do think it was something I would rather leave to the memories at this point.


#Blaugust2019 – Why do I actually blog?

This is a question I have had running through my brain the last few weeks quite a lot. The answer is I am not sure, I just enjoy writing posts and like to know people are reading them. I think it shows insight to how I view games and what excites or angers me in Warcraft. It is a way of remembering all the things I have done, with who and shows the points in time when achievements were had and worked for.

Funnily enough I used to have a much larger reader base than I have now, when I had time to be more interactive with other blogs. I should really get back on the WordPress/RSS feed thing and start making the effort to engage with others instead of just lurking. But I have periods where I stop playing WoW and life gets challenging and busy so you lose people when you stop writing, nature of the game, but it is hard to rebuild.

I created a twitter account as a way of following other gamers and talking to them without the need for the blog, but then started using it as a general twitter and posting generic every day stuff as well. It is a mixed bag of my life. I even created a Facebook page with the intention of possibly live-streaming when I got NBN (the super fast tech we are supposed to have in Aus) but sadly my house won’t get it until mid next year apparently. So whilst I post all my blogs to it it is basically sitting their unloved, with 3 people who like it.

I have always used writing in a diary as a way of getting things out of my head – both good and bad. It has always had a therapeutic effect on me. I get to say things I wouldn’t normally say out loud. On my anonymous blogs I can say whatever I want and no one knows it is me, I am safe from questions. So even if what I blog about seems inane to others, it is a record of the discussions and friendships which have meant a lot to me and I want to remember them.

I was watching β€œBetween the Sheets with Ashley Johnson” and she made a comment how she communicates better via email/writing than speaking and I understood it on such a spiritual level!! I think it is why I love blogging – and why I keep coming back to it.

#Blaugust2019 -Backlogs?

One of the things I have stumbled across since starting this challenge when reading other blogs is this idea of a backlog. Of games.

This blew my mind hole so far open I am not sure I will ever be able to close it again. I am such a WoW addict, I had never considered people out there play other games. They actually buy other games with the intention to play something other than WoW.

It occurs to me though, if you aren’t playing the time sink known as WoW you have hours in your week you can contemplate other games like a traitor. I also started to notice this phenomena when Ben and Oui moved in with us because Ben has about 12 other games he is playing and he keeps mentioning others he has bought or is waiting to download. What? He then spends his nights playing things other than WoW. I find this abhorrent πŸ™‚ So far I have heard of him playing, Final Fantasy, Tomb Raider and a DC one(?) – I am sure I saw the batmobile and an FPS..Call of Duty (Maybe?) or something like that anyway.

I have 1 game I play, and very very very occasionally I might dip my toes into Overwatch or Diablo – but they are all Blizzard games. The idea of having a backlog of games is so foreign to me. I don’t even look into other games to see what I might like playing. I am a bad gamer. Bad bad gamer.

I have zero games on my backlog and likely it will stay that way for a while. Although there was talk recently about resurrecting the old SWTOR account…LOL. After a very thorough search (ie 2 minute search online) I found some games I might be interested in dipping my toes into (when they eventually come out; Star Wars: Fallen Order, Zenith (currently on kickstarter), Mansions of Madness and Halo (but this will require an Xbox upgrade).

I just want to play WoW and you guys want to play ALL THE THINGS!!!!!!

#Blaugust2019 – The Queen’s Court of mischief

The guild actually killed the Court last week, but I was not online for it as I was at home, playing (and losing) Harry Potter board games with friends.

So I was pretty excited when our next raid night we started a fresh heroic run and managed to get all the way to the Court again for this week. The fresh run included one Apophis all the way through which, poor bugger, he didn’t join us the week prior for our Lady Ashvane kill so had no idea what was happening when we started the fight. Ooops. He made up for it by doing great DPS. I also cocked it up on that fight, but then so did a few others as we had to have a few attempts on her again to get it sorted. I think that is going to be one of those really random fights; some weeks the coral and people will be placed well, others I think it will just be bad and cost us. This was our second heroic kill so I am not going to be harsh on myself or anyone else for making mistakes.

I was, however so ecstatic I survived the entire Radiance fight I even took a screenshot. Look!! here is me alive…and Radiance dead! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?!? I even got excited over voice comms.

We didn’t actually struggle too much on Orgozoa, but we did have a few attempts, it is a pretty unforgiving fight for the tanks and it can take one tiny mistake for it all to go to the pits. But in Warsong style we killed it with only a couple left alive.

So the rest of this post was supposed to be about how we killed the court and zaqul….but then on our next raid night we were down two healers, a tank and a lot of DPS. So we didn’t end up raiding and I didn’t get an awesome post of boss kills and I forgot to cancel the post after the non-raid!

#Blaugust2019 – IRL Collecting

What do I collect? I can’t collect real life mounts or pets (although that is a tempting idea) I do have a thing with collecting Pinny Arcade pins. I am always open for donations to either keep or swap with people at our yearly pilgrimage to PAX.

PAX for those unfamiliar is a gaming expo run by the Penny Arcade company. They have panels, discussions, tabletop areas, VR areas, an exhibition hall for vendors and dedicated areas for testing new games on the market. It is a 3 day event held in mostly the US, although they have had one in Aus since 2013. I didn’t go to the first event however I have been since the 2014 without fail. My hubby and I consider it our Christmas πŸ™‚

Since the first one though, I have been hooked on the pins. Hooked. Here is the vest I wear to PAX every year (although I am still toying with ideas for this years PAX).

Front view
Left side
Right side

I need more space than a vest because here are the rest of the pins I own which are not displayed anywhere or worn to PAX. I am toying with the idea of making skirt or pants with front facing panels with a layer of this but sturdy plastic over the top to avoid any loss of pins.

From the top

This is my collection for exchange with others. I have a brilliant friend in the US who sent me a whole heaps of ship ones to trade with others, and I have some left over from last year which means I can buy less this year to trade.


The basic idea is you trade pins with others, for pins you don’t have and they want. You ask politely if they are willing to trade you X pin for Y pin and they can say no if they don’t think it is worth it. There are “values” associated with them in that some are limited edition, limited print runs, promo editions etc. They also have dates on the back as well. During PAX you can also trade pins with enforcers if they have pins on – they usually have rare or exciting pins and there is also a pinny trade meet up with the pinny arcade staff – you can get all their pins then or when you see them on the floor. There is also a trading session with other folks as well and that was mind blowing, the last one I went to I saw an older gentleman who had huge ziplock bags of each type of pin. It was insane – maybe he was the printer? LOL

The most coveted set I want is the Australian 2013 set. I wish I had one of those, they are as rare as hens teeth because they didn’t make a huge print run. Some others rare pins require you to talk to people and locate them during events. It is an effort but for a nutter like me – totally worth it.

#Blaugust2019 – Creator appreciation – Music

Music is one of those things I want in my life playing all the time. Sadly I need to be talking to people and watching other things, so I can’t have music going as much as I would like. It is a huge part of my emotional rollercoaster balancing as well. It can put me in a good mood, make me cry or piss me off.

My favourite genre leans towards country with a soft rock feel. I do like most other things except screamy metal – so..death metal maybe? The screaming grates on my nerves and gets me agitated, so i avoid it.

Here are some bands I have recently discovered (thanks to Hubby on some of these).

Walking on cars – irish rock band. Easy to listen to. I would like to find more bands like this.

Lanco – country, their song “born to love you” kills me and is a favourite.

Larken poe – rock/country/blues mix with 2 sisters. There are far too many songs which are awesome. Just too many. They are so good we are contemplating going to Bluesfest in Byron Bay next year just to see them!

Chvrches – synth pop from Scotland; we have listened to them for a while but not enough people know of them. So i like to mention them when I can.

Dan & Shay – country duo, easy to listen to and very enjoyable. Currently on repeat with their albums.

I love music so much, we discovered I have a music library on my phone of about 36Gb and my hubby has 8Gb. This is why my car struggles when I connect my phone. I spent an evening cleaning out some old albums and bands I haven’t listened to in years and got my library down to 26.25Gb πŸ™‚

Go check them out and have some joy in your earholes πŸ™‚ Let me know what musical creators you are enjoying at the moment!

#Blaugust 2019 – Creator appreciation – INTPIPOMO 2018 RESULTS

You might remember, towards the end of last year I did INTPIPOMO….well I did some of it. Not all of it. I only managed to post a few photos, but that was enough apparently to score me a little random win.

Who would have thought πŸ™‚

You can read the full post here but I had no idea. I must have completely spaced out on that front. I feel bad I didn’t do enough images, but grats to Aggronaut on their win!

In honour of not having done enough then, here is another small gallery of images πŸ™‚ This sort of ties in well with having a creator appreciation week for blaugust and I will selfishly use this to display more of my own images.

I am no longer really doing photography, but I still love it and will occasionally pull out the camera.

#Blaugust2019 – Creator appreciation – Comics

I thought I would post about some of my favourite comics which i read and follow on social media so I know when new ones have come out.

Belzebubs – is without a doubt my current favourite. We haven’t had an actual comic for a little bit but I absolutely love this comic of a goth, satanic heavy metal band and family. I adore it. They actually have an album which was released this year in Jan but I have yet to listen to it. Heavy metal is not my music of choice anymore.

Catana comics – is a cute comic about a couple and as I am sure many other people, I find so many parallels πŸ™‚

Sarah’s scribbles – relatable to me in every way I can think of so far. I adore her comics.

One of those days – brilliant, this makes me feel like all the things in our relationship happen to other people. Love it and their art style is amazing.

There are other comics like Penny Arcade and Shen and a few others I read but don’t seek out regularly. Just when the mood hits and I am looking for things to do.

#Blaugust2019 – Creator appreciation – Youtube

Hubby and I watch more youtube than streaming and TV combined these days. I am not sure how it happened but we just enjoyed watching content people have created. We even toyed with the idea of creating a youtube channel ourselves but neither of us could really spare the time to edit, create and come up with ideas that were going to last more than maybe 1 week.

But here is a list of the channel we watch religiously when a new video is uploaded.

Kara & Nate – they travel for a living (jealous!!)

Abroad in Japan – Sarcastic Englishman living in Japan (funny as hell)

Bon Appetit – Foodie channel (Brad Leone makes me laugh and Claire making gourmet versions of food is epic)

Critical role – DnD, currently watching through β€œThe Mighty Nein”.

The Modern Rogue – 2 guys who do things…dangerous and weird things πŸ™‚ funny guys.

Becki and Chris – photography and life topics. Funny as hell.

Evan and Katelyn – they make things for their home, loads of fun.

These aren’t warcraft channels of course because I wanted to point out other channels and creators out there who don’t have anything to do with the game. The channels are people just living life, doing interesting things and making me laugh – and sometimes living their most dangerous lives. I have many laughs when watching most of these channels and I am extremely appreciative of their videos.

I think it would be very cool to have a channel but so much work and opening yourself to weirdos and trolls. Not sure I am willing to put up with that πŸ™‚

#Blaugust2019 – Creator appreciation – Artists

The writing ideas for this week are about appreciating people who create content. Things I like watching, buying, seeing and being involved in. I thought it might be cool for me to break down into categories but who knows. I may be out of steam by the end of a few posts.

Today I am going to link to the artists I adore for your enjoyment.

Sam Flegal

This was the piece I saw of his first and it just captured me entirely. I bought a print of this one and framed. I adore this painting.

I adored this so much I commissioned him for a proper painting. All the way from the USA. Cost me a packet but I love it!

Danny Beck

He used to work for Blizzard on Warcraft and I somehow found him via someone. I loved his really cute “”monsters and hamsters” theme. Reallly gorgeous. He was apparently bringing out a book but I am not sure what stage that is at. I should follow that up soon.

Wendy Ortiz

I found her randomly on instagram I think one day. I love her work. It is mystical, earthy and a little morbid. I love it.

Glenn Arthur

This guy draws hummingbirds in all his pieces and I would probably own about 4-5 pieces if I didn’t have hubby rolling his eyes at my art purchases.

I have this print of his.

Peter Mohrbacher

I adore the angel series. Yet another artist I would buy prints off if I could. It makes me sad I don’t live in the USA where I could visit these guys at their conventions and buy pieces. His work is absolutely stunning. One day I will own one or two of his work.

Well that is a short list of some of the artists I adore and love and follow. Who do you guys like and watch? What art pieces do you own?

#Blaugust 2019 – Fright Night

We had a night out with some friends to see “A midnight Visit, which is a warehouse converted into various rooms with different themes and actors doing Edgar Allan Poe scenes.

Some rooms were creepy as hell and others were a little meh. I felt a little creeped out in the streamer room and i loved the tell tale heart room.

We weren’t allowed to take photos in the rooms to ensure the entire thing wasn’t ruined for others. This was our group before we went into the actual event.

We had a chance to take a picture with wings, this is hubby πŸ™‚

This is me with my wings, nowhere near as cool as hubby.

It is in Melb for another few months and worth going through it if you are into a goth kind of dream state with Edgar Allan Poe inspired themes.

I should add this may seem like a weird post, but all the people in this photo I know because of Warcraft. I met them in game and through friends of people in game πŸ™‚

#Blaugust 2019 – Couldn’t be done, they said.

I didn’t want to raid this week given the current state of my brain, but I was online fiddling with my toon at raid time changing gear, getting chants (Thanks Oui) and pottering around. Anyway whilst sitting in discord I got outed by a few people about why I wasn’t in the raid, so I went along. I really just didn’t want to spend the night being told how we couldn’t kill a boss. So I just figured it was easier to not go. I play WoW for fun and to enjoy time with people who make me laugh, I don’t want to listen to even more negativity.

Either way, we took Apophis in as well as he the same ilevel as me and his DPS isn’t actually bad. So he got to see the first three bosses in heroic mode. He died on Radiance – but then….it is a super rough I sort of expected him dying somewhere along the way.

We struggled a little on Behemoth, not sure what has happening, but we wiped for the first time in a while on him and then even when we killed him it was a little messy. We did get him down though thankfully.

So we headed to Lady Ashvane, bane of our existence. We expected to be spending the night on her. But would you believe this.


We killed her. With our first pull. It was pretty impressive. I confess I had the absolute best attempt, I didn’t get briny bubble nor did I get the colour circled. I literally just stood there, avoided circles and DPS’d πŸ™‚

We headed to Orgozoa, with the explanation from Queen Nelly of it being basically the same just everything hits harder and kills you faster. We wiped a few times whilst the tanks figured out their swapping and had a few mistakes etcs but we were getting it down pretty easily.

And would you believe:

5/8 H

It was a messy kill for sure, my death was in the last few % of health, annoyingly but I think it will work better next time.

Go us though, walking in an smashing through 5 bosses in Heroic and finishing early so people could go and PVP for the rest of the evening. I would have liked to have seen Queen’s Court for a few attempts but oh well. Grats the team though, was very happy to have killed 2 new bosses this week and I am glad I went. (Played Beat Saber for an hour after raid).

#Blaugust2019 – Mental health

This is a trigger warning for the below on multiple fronts. Proceed with caution.

This was a post I was deciding if I should post or not and if it has gone live, I obviously decided against my better judgement to let it go public. It is one of those stigma breaking things I need to get used to being open about.

I make no bones on this blog about my feelings and struggles with PTSD, rape culture and the ups and downs of my temper. I try and not post about it a lot because I use WoW as an escape from my head. People don’t need to read about all that stuff from me – there are plenty of other popular people out there who talk about their struggles openly. My issues stem from nearly being murdered and ignored during my rape.

Recently though, maybe the last 2 -3 months, I have been slowly spiralling a little into some of the darker parts of my brain. The hard part of this is I only have my husband to turn to because he knows the depths to which I have sunk in the past and how hard I work through things now to not go back there. I say it is hard, but I mean for him, he is the one who has to cope with my tears, temper and sadness. I carry the guilt of burdening him with my craziness.

There are a multitude of little things which is contributing to my current state of feeling worthless including a reduction in exercise, me feeling like I am always the one reaching out to others but noone reaching out to me or people not responding to questions IRL and over social media. They build up and come in waves, some days I don’t notice, other days even the smallest thing sets off my negativity and tears.

Two bigger events which are weighing me down are relating to people wanting to use my online handles/website because they are starting something new. In my head, they will re-write my history/my name and my mark will be erased (granted it isn’t a large mark but these are long standing parts of my life). No one really understands how much devastation I am feeling about either situation. Yesterday was the culmination of months of angst, hurt and fear and I just couldn’t stop the tears for hours.

Ultimately I wake up every day, I go to work, I smile I do what needs to be done for the day, I go home, cook dinner, smile, laugh and then whilst watching TV or playing WoW spend the rest of the night in my head trying to correct the negative self talk into positive. It is exhausting to constantly be telling myself I don’t suck and people do like me and wanting to overwrite every facet of my life isn’t bad, when everything fibre of my being is screaming the opposite. I just need to keep swimming through these periods so I can come out the other side alive.

This was a hard post to write especially when most people have no idea about what I am going through. I don’t ask for help or talk about how I am feeling because I was mocked publicly by others when I was clearly in recovery and actively seeing a therapist. I want everyone to believe I am ok now. So thanks for reading this if you did, I am sorry for anything I do or say which seems over the top.

#Blaugust2019 – VR and PS4

I tried “Beat Sabre” for the first time months ago at Sian and Michael’s place. Since then it has been a game I could not get out of my head and one I wanted to buy. Hubby and I even spent weeks pouring over all the VR options and prices to determine the best possible option for us given we had alienware laptops capable of handling VR we were mostly swinging towards the HTC Vive.

Then Ben and Oui confirmed they were going to move to Melb and we decided to put our purchase on hold as they had a PS4 with VR. I was happy to save ourselves a couple of thousand bucks in the short term to wait a few months and then see how much we actually used the VR.

I have watched so many videos for beat saber and been hanging to get back into, Michael has told me many times to just come around and play it. But I think I would feel like a crack addict getting a hit, so have patiently waited.

Sunday night though, after the guys had done some unpacking and setting up of bits and pieces. Ben fired up the PS4 and I was super excited. I jumped into Beat Saber with happiness.

Some random image not mine πŸ™‚

I played in easy mode for a few songs and was not finding it much of a challenge, but I wanted to get back into it slowly. Since it would have been impolite to monopolise the entire PS4 Hubby and Ben did a couple of sings as well. They both did it at harder levels than me and did exceptionally well. The motion sickness was there, but tolerable, when I was playing but watching other people play was really difficult when they moved their head. I will have to be ultra careful with this one.

We then decided to have a few goes at “Just Dance 2019”. I have seen this at PAX almost every year and have wondered how to play it because everyone looks like they are having a lot of fun. Now I know, I might have a shot this year.

I was doing very well, even when I was following the wrong person on screen for an entire song ..OOPS!! There was some very weird dancing animations though, this frog being the main one in my opinion.

But I was getting “Superstar” pretty often which Ben was surprised at because he didn’t even know it was a thing – I was surprised as well because it didn’t feel like I was going particularly well.

I was very very very sore the next morning because we had been playing for about 3 hours but I was having so much fun!!

I can’t wait to get home and play some more beat saber!!!